by: Elli Sanders
Sometimes I think about what my life would have been like if I let fear drive me away from my dreams. What if I decided to give into feeling insecure about meeting new mentors, reaching out for help, attempting new things? I think about this possibility to give me a wake up to examine my world a little bit more deeply. Perhaps I’m allowing fear to take it’s toll somewhere in my life right now as I write this, that’s keeping me in a holding pattern. So as I sit here thinking about this right now as I write this, I’m already uncovering little areas of my life where I feel insecure and a bit off from my regular pattern of life. My life is so absolutely amazing and I’ve been blessed. But I will not say that the all things I have learned are something I can take credit for, the only thing I can take credit for is that I trusted my mentors and I listened to their advice, and better yet I took what they said and ran with it. As uncomfortable as it felt when I first started, I wouldn’t trade one second of it looking back.
We humans are certainly interesting creatures of habit, and those habits can certainly be good or they can be harmful. When I was younger before I had mentors I had several patterns that certainly pushed me out of the ‘in’ crowd in school and in life in general. My take the backseat mentality was surely turning me into someone who would not have enjoyed their life if they kept that attitude. But chances happen that I actually ran into a gal (through a really complex set of attractions) who ended up being my mentor when I was about 13. She ran a retail store and did many other things like drop shipping. She taught me certain habits to start forming when it came to creating my life how I wanted it.
I remember the first time she requested to see me at a function that she was running for other women who she also was mentoring in business and life. It was conference in Denver, Colorado. The year was most likely 1998 or so. She requested that I came but it wasn’t anything like a demand. It was a quick, “Yeah, you should show up” with an intense eye gaze. I had about 2 so weeks to really make up my mind on what I was going to do. You see I was a very introverted young lady, and I had very few friends, and looking back, I’d say I had pretty much no friends.
So to dress up, and take the bus down into Denver by myself and find this place where the conference was taking place and to mingle with people, was WAY out of my comfort zone. So much so, I had decided not to go, up until about 6 hours before the event was going to take place. Now, you’ll have to imagine with me that you are a young adult that’s never really had a friend, never had to be present for anything, had to travel alone and had to meet with a very powerful and at that time intimidating business woman. I was literally sitting in the corner on a brown rocking chair where I was staying at the time, almost in tears. Because I felt hopeless, lost and scared. I didn’t know how to combat these fears in my head. I sat there saying to myself that I wouldn’t ever be able to free myself of, myself.
My fear was so strong, so intense, beating down on me, tensing every muscle in my body so much that I couldn’t even bring myself to cry. The thing is at the same time I was seeing myself see what I was fearing. What was it? It was movement, it was me having to start something, it was me having to have a purpose, it was me no longer fighting the will of my fate. You see while I sat there and thought about these things, I decided that I was no longer going to let my fear take me over and demand that I live a life of normality, because normality is not going to bring you fulfillment, it’s not going to lead you to your finest hour, it’s not going to allow you to see the mountain in which you are suppose to climb in your life time. It’s going to stop you from feeling the best of all feelings, to experience the world in a way that’s truly magical, free and safe. You’re life in normality is dangerous, as it leads to apathy and loathing of the worlds gifts. It leads good people to see things as scams, lies and deceit and because of that, that’s what people will end up attracting in their field of mental observation. When normality sets in, it’s like a parasite that will feed on all things in it’s reality that is pure and good. It’s complacency, it’s judgement, it’s a thought that brings the colorful world down to low roar within a gray scale, it’s fantasy that is only lived through ones mind, it’s the dulling of the senses and as much as we would like to believe, we are not going to find happiness in these traits.
But with all these things pacing my mind, it still did not have the thunder in which I needed to see myself actually pulling myself up and setting through my door to catch the bus I needed to catch in less then 1 hour at that time. Now, before I reveal the secret to eliminating fear, I’d like for you to think of possibly a time when you had something similar happen. Really think about it. How did the movie play out in your head? What did it look like? If you’re like any other human being in the world, you played out your fear in your head over and over and over. You could say that while playing this fear out in your head, it always seemed to hit one spot. The end!
The end is basically you not having a solution or an understanding of anything that would come afterward in your mind. You see the brain and mind immediately will begin to fear a problem when there is no solution to it. So the solution is to give your brain and mind one. What this means basically is that your mind most of the time is being completely irrational, and at the same time this causes fear. But why couldn’t you use your minds irrational state in a positive way?
1. When you’re in fear and you are playing that movie over and over in your head. Simply play the rest of it out how you’d like to see it. Even if it’s a bit brash or ridiculous, you’ll notice as you start to play with this idea of flowing through your dead end fear, you begin to notice that your muscles will start to relax. This is something you do not have to force, as long as you are pushing through that movie and seeing yourself raise out of that depression, that fear or that hate or prejudice you might have, you’re brain will see that the you are not permanently screwed, and because of that, you will no longer die a thousand deaths for no reason.
2. Using irrational beliefs to free yourself from fear is absolutely a crucial way to gain control over your life, and in fact, if you use this technique to your advantage, you’ll not only smash that fear bug out of yourself almost completely, you’ll begin to actually become a practitioner of practical magic. What I mean by that is this.
Example: As a child you may be afraid of the dark, you make up irrational truths about the world that there is a dark scary monster that only shows up in your room and lurks over you while you sleep at night. So as what happens with most kids they will except this truth and have a hell of a time sleeping for quite a while in their life because of this irrational fear. But there are some kids who learned by accident that they can use their irrational beliefs to free themselves from fear. These are the kids who then tell their mind and their brain that their covers are magical, and that when they are under them, nothing can enter in through them and they shine a bright light off of them that is invisible to them, but the monsters get scared of the light and run off. You can use the same idea to fill in gaps in your life that you are fearful of. Such as if you have a child who is starting to drive, you can imagine that there is a force field of protection that surrounds them and the car when they are out driving. This is real magic that really works! And it eliminates fear too!
So as you can see, this is all ridiculous, BUT. You can also see that it’s beneficial too!
So, as I sat there, almost in tears, thinking about my future lives, I first decided to see my life and what it could look like if I gave into the fear I was feeling and to not enter out into the world by myself, and what my life could look like if I overcame this fear. At first, while thinking about not doing it, I saw myself hitting a wall, over and over again in my mind. Playing the same thing over and over again, with no trust, no conviction and because of that, I was playing the ‘Permanently Screwed Video’ over and over again. Then I decided to walk on the wild side, and saw myself get up, get dressed, run out the door down the street to the bus stop, get on the bus, get off a few stops and back on until I finally made it into Denver. I then saw myself get off the bus, walk down the street to the hotel this function was at, and with a strong straight back I fixed my hair and threw it over my shoulder and entered into the hotel with my head held high. All the while, feeling absolutely terrified in my thought about this, but, it had turned into something different, the fear was no longer intimidating, it had turned into something else.
The best way to describe the difference in this fear, was what you could feel while working out. This ‘pain’ was exhilarating it was fresh and vibrant and colorful. And when I saw myself set into that hotel room in my mind. A world of colors exploded into my vision, I had broken down the gates of my fear and realized it was nothing I couldn’t handle. At that moment, I saw I very brief glimpse of my life in which I’m living to this day. My extreme confidence (I run a traveling rave club all over Asia), my over flow of giving and sharing with the world, my experiences and my love for life. I honestly can not totally put into words what I felt once I went through those gates. But it was like heaven opened up it’s and allowed me through, as I threw off fear of ‘what if‘ and allowed myself to start healing from fear.
Fear is the great taker of lives and dreams. In my current life, I still battle with fear at times, but it’s nothing I ever back down from. Now, do I always win so effortlessly? No, thusly why I write, I meditate, I reflect and I use this technique of removing fear and doubt from my life. You’re never permanently screwed, never will be, there is more opportunity in life and death and in all situations that you could never say that in any circumstance that you’re not going to make it through. There is a lot to do, a lot to learn and as we continue to move forward with our live(s) (more then one), we will continue stack our experiences from this life to the next.
I use to fear that all these wonderful secrets and moments that I’m learning and experiencing in this life time would be for nothing, as I reincarnated / changed focus into another life. But as stated here, I discovered that isn’t so, it was just me being irrational. Energy can not be destroyed and all thoughts, vibrations and events that I live now, will forever carry forward not just in my soul, but through the world that I’ll leave from this body. Things are going to keep moving no matter what, and I can visit with anyone from my past or present (from this life, my past life or my next life), by simply dissolving fear and using that all too famous irrational human brain to conjure up anything I wish, anything I desire, in anyway I want.
We live in a world of irrationality, and many times people will succumb to allowing their irrational beliefs literally kill their dreams and them. But those who use irrationality to their advantage, they are the ones changing the world. Fear is the devils hands in your pockets, helping you twiddle your thumb at the opportunities that circle you, with that knowledge you have to become something more. Become a great movie maker, become irrational if you need to be in a good way. But make sure you start catching yourself when you start to fret, stress or fear.
When I asked my mentor many years later why she decided to give me a shot. She mentioned that it was I who called out for her, and she knew with all her heart that I had the strength to meet that challenge. As stated here in my story I had that strength to push through, but she is the one who gave me that platform in which to stand on, she believed in me so much, even without knowing me at that time, that I still to this day believe she helped me pull out of my stupor and find my way to her. A mentor is a power ally, never under estimate those came before you and what they know could help you… But, also don’t give up your gut feelings, because even when they are wrong, they teach you a lot, and you very well may need to be wrong at times. Your mentors can’t eat your lunch for you, remember that, you still need to put in the work. But, I wouldn’t trade having a mentor for anything. Since then, I’ve run into a lot of other mentors who continued to help me tweak my fear removal processes, which I will teach in my news letter as well as in future articles.
by: Elli Sanders
“Beyond starlight and moonlight,
You’ve beckon the call for something more.
But, the beliefs of others you thought were real,
held your hand so gently as they stole.
Stole the will and the happiness,
that you so procured,
throughout your fantasy world,
inveigled was your dreams!
As you bled your heart,
you asked god for more.
As you waited for an answer,
fear sat too,
as opportunities circled around you.
daring dreams don’t stay quite.
Notice this fear you feel,
it’s the tantalizing growth of more,
enticing your dreams your brilliance and,
So without hesitation,
move through fear and you shall persist.
By your courage,
you’ll move not a limb,
but climb a mountain,
and from the top you will see,
a sparkling future awaiting,
Believe that it’s right,
by summoning a dragon in flight,
while magicians cast the darkness from your sight.
So that in this world you create,
fear will be vanquished.
Leaving you free,
even through irrationality.
and you will endure,
the feelings and thoughts of something more,
figuring out mathematical cores,
to algorithmic and sesimic lore,
finding their source through your mind,
by your own fantasies that align.
So is Practical magic…
to dwell deeper then the real,
clearing the fantasy and reality of which you live.
To procure that life you so desire.
Even from the fire!
and you will see,
there is much more to this life,
then what was elate in normality.”